Don’t Tell Betsy were back at it last Tuesday at Shabby Road Studios and it was not very pretty. In fact, except for Carissa, nothing about the group is very pretty. But, where as most of those other asshole bands (U2? Metallica?) wouldn’t let you within a hundred miles of their creative process, This asshole band puts you at the heart of it. Before this song is birthed, you’ll live and breathe its highest joys and painfullest pains. You’ll be deafened by its labor screams. Perhaps you could be persuaded to pay for some of its medical costs? But, be warned, this song is comin’ at you like a freight train. If it’s like an Amtrack freight train, it may never get there, but then again, it might!
17 hours later, Ellis’ Preparation H, finally starts to take hold.
There really is nothing like a neck-high steel partition to keep the rest of the band away from our singer.
Ellis does the absolute best gay pirate impression in the free world.
Kevin just realized how old he is.
Nothing pleases Gregg more than beating everyone else to the last NutRageous Bar.
Ellis recreates his audition for “Brattleby, The World’s Saddest Boy Scout”.
"This reminds me of a blind date I once had with one of the Blue Men."
When all else fails, Ellis has to push the blood up his neck and into his brain by hand.
“Even on my worst, most shittiest day, I’m going to look like Eva Mendes next to these geriatric fucks.”
Ellis still hasn’t forgiven Gregg for eating the last NutRageous Bar.
“I will not look at Carissa’s ass. I will not look at Carissa’s ass. What’s that in my peripheral vision? Oh Fuck! I will not look at Carissa’s ass."
“Yep, the guys have been licking my microphone, again!”
“Half! That’s all I wanted. Last week you ate all the Twizzlers!”
“No Kevin, you’re not selling my mic stand for pot. Let go!”
“I found this little bit between my teeth. Three bucks or I wash it down with the last of my Long Hammer.”
To pass the time between songs, Kevin likes to perform unlicensed dentistry on the rest of the band.
If no one tells Ellis the rehearsal’s over, he will stand like this for days.
“So I said to the traffic cop, “If you think this is drunk, you should have seen me last night!”
“You see, I can touch it, of course it instantly kills anyone over the age of a million.”
This is Don’t Tell Betsy saying, “Please remember to drink responsibly.”
