Sunday, October 30, 2011

DON’T TELL BETSY’S HORRIFIC, MEGA-SCARY HALLOWEEN THING!

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Hold onto your really scary hats, boys and girls. We’re presenting the bitchinest Halloween song ever to drizzle down a sewer pipe to rip out your neck flesh.

This is The Undead (You can’t much more Halloween that that, can you?) Guest vocals by Kat from Croatia. (If you close your eyes, and she lays on her accent thick, she sounds just like Dracula’s sister) This is scary fucking stuff! Gregg plays the zombie. There’s even a zombie in this video. We went all out for our Halloween theme. We spared no expense below 200 hundred dollars. This thing was massive. Scorsese would have shit his pants just contemplating the enormity of our grandeur.



Now some horrifying Halloween pics to scare you shitless.

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Holy fuck!!! This guy is 61 this week. If you think you’re scared, imagine what he feels!

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Kevin blissfully holding up “WATER FROM HELL!!!!” He went to drink it and it pounced down his throat like a demented cat and sucked out his uvula. (That’s not nearly as pleasant as it sounds!)

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What’s that in his ear? Oh my GOD!!! Shove a fucking crowbar in there before it escapes and eats us all!!!!

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“Oh NO!!!! The Christmas Wrapping Creature is eating Kevin’s face off. For the love of all that’s holy, somebody stop it!!!!!”

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Sure they look happy here. This was just before Carissa stripped down to her underwear and a guy in a hockey mask cut off both her thumbs and shoved them up into her brain through her nose!!!! (Ellis did nothing to come to her aid)

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The two on either side of me were mercilessly and indescribably slaughtered over a number of unendurable hours of agony and torment. Luckily I was spared.

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Darrell would have gotten a picture of the acid drooling demon that burst up through the floor boards and tore Dan to pieces with it razor sharp, blood red teeth, but he couldn’t quite figure out the flash in time.

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This is Carissa just before she plucked out her own eyes in a desperate attempt to wipe away the vision of Ellis’ bent-over-ass-crack from her decimated brain.

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This is Kevin being possessed by a very mellow demon.

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“Sure my eyes are glowing from the brimstone of hell’s darkest and unholiest furnace, but is my lipstick on right?”

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“Nevermind, I found my mirror”

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“How come the drummer is always has to be the blood sacrifice to the avenging gods? A bass player couldn’t have his throat slashed on an alter once in awhile?

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“I wonder if bits of their flayed and roasted corpses would be a good pizza topping,”

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“Shit, I think I just hacked up everyone with my big motherfucking axe, who’s going to take my picture, holding up their severed fucking heads?”

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“Well, the votes are in. Guess who has to die?”

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“I am Windinka, Goddess of the Dark and most savage and merciless of the Unctar! Buy the Undead MP3 now from Amazon or Itunes or you will feel the wrath of a million disemboweled screams. It’s only 99 cents. When you consider the alternative, it’s more than worth it.”

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